And so it is nearly upon me. The day where I hand my office pass in to my boss, clear down my desk and head out of the building for the final time.<\/p>\n
At times like this it’s hard not to think about the things I’ll miss about my current corporate life. Harder still to avoid pondering those things I won’t<\/i> miss.<\/p>\n
“Why don’t you write a blog entry talking about some of those things now, Pat?”<\/p>\n
GREAT IDEA! Let’s go:<\/p>\n
Key Things I’ll Miss<\/b><\/big><\/p>\n
This is pretty obvious: the people and the pay. Ok, so this section appears ludicrously small in comparison to the one below, but that’s because it’s much more fun to write rants :-)<\/p>\n
Key Things I’ll Not Miss<\/b><\/big><\/p>\n
IT Systems<\/b><\/p>\n
From computers I’d struggle to get Doom running on even with a special boot disk, though “rich” web-based systems that require $3 million worth of hardware and software to poorly emulate the old robust thick client systems \/ the perfectly functional old web pages that could keep themselves within 2MB a page, to centrally-enforced software rollouts that turn your PC into a tin box with flashing lights on it (“What do you mean<\/i> you guys install software on your development PCs?”).<\/p>\n
Corporate IT Systems, from what I gather, suffer from the following two issues:<\/p>\n
Bureaucracy<\/b><\/p>\n
Want to copy a file over here? Sure! You just need to:<\/p>\n
I LOVE BUREAUCRACY.<\/p>\n
Business Speak<\/b><\/p>\n
I agree that in order to sing holistically from the same hymn sheet, we often need a heads together in order to ensure the important items are on our radars from the get go.<\/p>\n
Perhaps using metaphors can incentivise a quick win when trying to action an idea shower into deliverables in the office going forward.<\/p>\n
But heads up folks, I want to touch base with you on this: it only takes a bit of blue sky thinking in this space to realise using these low hanging fruit can damage your ability to articulate clearly.<\/p>\n
I just don’t have the bandwidth to cope with it all cascading down to me, I can’t even be bothered to drill down into what wrong-sides me about it most. <\/p>\n
If I could just get my ducks in a r(OK, STOP THIS NOW \u2013 Squage)<\/i><\/p>\n
Ok, sorry. I must mention this though: my favourite BS phrase still has to be this, which was uttered only once to my knowledge by a former manager:<\/p>\n
“We need to take the chastity belt off this project”<\/p>\n
To this day, I still shudder to think of the manager strapping the project down and giving it a good seeing to. Think that<\/i> dream in Office Space. “Yeeeeeeahhh… I’m gonna need you to go ahead and be delivered by Q4… don’t move… yeah that’s it… keep that deadline right… there…”<\/p>\n
I’ll leave that image with you. Hope it pushed the envelope.<\/p>\n
BYE!<\/p>\n
Pat<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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