{"id":16,"date":"2007-08-27T18:24:56","date_gmt":"2007-08-27T17:24:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/about\/about-squage\/"},"modified":"2007-08-27T18:24:56","modified_gmt":"2007-08-27T17:24:56","slug":"about-squage","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/about\/about-squage\/","title":{"rendered":"About Squage"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m Squage, a small blue blob with big eyes and a big mouth.<\/p>\n

I belong to the species Squag\u00c3\u00a9, which inhabit the planet Squearth, which is in a solar system about 20,000,000 miles left of Jupiter (hanging right at the petrol station by the the 5th moon of Thammiraah Seven).<\/p>\n

Years ago (on my 18th birthday) I accidentally ended up on Earth following what can only be described as a rather hectic night on the Zarrblede Juice (you know the potency and taste of Unicum Zwak? Zarrblede\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s about half as nasty and as such outlawed in a fifth of the galaxy). I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not quite sure how I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d ended up there but I awoke in a daze lying in the front room of a house in Essex.<\/p>\n

There was a human who lived in the house and, rather oddly, seemed to take it as normal for this sort of thing to happen (he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got an overactive imagination as I now realise) and so ended up adopting me, teaching me English and trying to help me get back to Squearth.<\/p>\n

In the end we realised it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going to happen (for a start he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to be able to source the 52.4 gigatonnes of petrol needed to get to the nearest intergalactic refuelling station) and so, well, I stayed in Essex with Pat.<\/p>\n

This was great until we read that there are prettier places on Earth than Canvey Island\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s oil refinery – which came as quite a surprise – so we went to see some of the more impressive parts of the world – primarily New Zealand and Australia. You can read about our adventures here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Now that we’re back, Pat’s going back to his old job and me? Well, I’m considering starting up my own Myspace band. Failing that, I’ll just sing on a street corner hoping for some money. I’m still not sure which would get me the most money…<\/p>\n

\n

Note: Squage is a cartoon character of mine, which I designed in circa 1994 whilst bored in an English Literature lesson for use in a crap QBasic game I was creating at the time.<\/p>\n

The story was that Squage and his chums were the only survivors following a catastrophe on their home planet, Squearth, where the master gem (which, naturally, radiates the good vibes needed to keep Squag\u00c3\u00a9s alive) was shattered into a million fragments\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 causing Squag\u00c3\u00a9s all across Squearth to become sad, upset and eventually dissolve into deadly pink goo. But, of course.<\/p>\n

The game itself was a rubbish, fixed screen platformer whereupon you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d jump around the screen as Squage (or one of his mates), collecting gem fragments and avoiding pink goo. Somehow, I managed to sell a copy to a neighbour for \u00c2\u00a35. Since then the world has never made sense to me.<\/p>\n

Aaanyway, following that game, then Squage 2 (much better but still QBasic-based) and finally SquageTris (guess what that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s based on), most of my school mates knew and loved the blue blob.<\/p>\n

Partly because of the kitch, retro (read: poor for its time) feel of the game – and partly because of the constant doodles of him I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d do whilst bored in lectures – a few years later lots of my Uni mates knew all about the blue blob\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 in fact, people had started using his name in place of swearwords (\u00e2\u20ac\u009dFor the love of Squage\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, for Squage\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sake\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What the Squage?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d were not uncommon). Quite odd, yes, but we were pissed or hungover most of the time.<\/p>\n

The same happened at work a few years later.<\/p>\n

As you can see, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still drawing Squage.<\/p>\n

I have a terrible problem :-)<\/p>\n

Pat<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m Squage, a small blue blob with big eyes and a big mouth. I belong to the species Squag\u00c3\u00a9, which inhabit the planet Squearth, which is in a solar system about 20,000,000 miles left of Jupiter (hanging right at the petrol station by the the 5th moon of Thammiraah Seven). Years ago (on my 18th […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":2,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-16","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/16","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/16\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squage.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}